TALK KOK.
I am officially a retarded blogger because
a. I don't blog
b. When I see my blog empty I don't feel guilty
c. I am like spending hours of my life on the internet every day and that makes me stupid. (yes internet overdose makes you dull)
d. My blog has flies
e. Nobody reads my blog. Hell even I don't read my blog.
Okay I can only come out to e. See this is why I am retarded. Retarded. Retarded.
Oh wells. We should all read ABIGAIL'S BLOG because her latest entry just says everything I feel like saying. #457: Survive This Holiday talks about everything we need to know about not letting our holidays come to naught these last few days.
Yay! Retarded blogging is retarded!
I am so gonna delete this entry tomorrow.
a. I don't blog
b. When I see my blog empty I don't feel guilty
c. I am like spending hours of my life on the internet every day and that makes me stupid. (yes internet overdose makes you dull)
d. My blog has flies
e. Nobody reads my blog. Hell even I don't read my blog.
Okay I can only come out to e. See this is why I am retarded. Retarded. Retarded.
Oh wells. We should all read ABIGAIL'S BLOG because her latest entry just says everything I feel like saying. #457: Survive This Holiday talks about everything we need to know about not letting our holidays come to naught these last few days.
Yay! Retarded blogging is retarded!
I am so gonna delete this entry tomorrow.
I'm picking up photography again. It's back to basics: shutter speed, exposure, aperture, iso. I'm rusty as hell. When people ask me why I'm not ambitious, why I'm so daunted by where photography can take me, why I feel so flattened, I never tell them because I'm a slacker. I never tell them I actually suck because sometimes I can't even get a picture sharp. I never tell them I stopped taking a hundred shots to get just one image good. I never tell them I'm actually a slacker.
There's nothing much hindering me from being a photographer again. I have a DSLR sitting beside me right now. I take too many things for granted. The opportunities I've been blessed with in this life have been wasted. On me. The creative influences that have surrounded me have been nothing less than professional and expert. Yet the honing and helping haven't amounted to much. Someone else would have been far more successful in my position.
There was photography. Which I started with in Sec 1. I grabbed a camera on the night of Evening of Music and Drama and sat of the steps of Victoria School Auditorium. I took photo after photo, shot after shot. I changed CF card twice. Mr Ong was appalled. None of the shots were good, obviously. But I worked harder. Practiced like shit. I thought I was going to do photography for O Levels. I really thought. Turns out not. Like everything I slacked and soon everyone was ahead of me.
There was graphic design. Which started when I was Sec 1. I sat through and watched the seniors work their magic on Photoshop. Afternoon after afternoon during the holidays I would take the train all the way from Woodlands to Bedok so I could work on The Victorian. It was three hours on the train everyday during the December Holidays and I worked like hell. I got better and soon I did bigger stuff and learnt more in the VIctorian 2006. Art Direction, graphic direction, whatever they called it. I gave ideas and did the shit. I got better.
But like everything else I slacked and soon others did better than me. I lost my grasp with Illustrator and Photoshop. I stopped wanting to learn. I lost focus.
And then there was editorship. When Muyao left there was only me and Lizhi. So naturally for all the work and shit I put in I was given the role of editor in 2007. I still think the outcome was fantastic, I still think Victoriana 2007.2 was one of the best issues I've worked on (given that I've worked on pretty many Victorianas since I entered publications in Sec 1), But the process of the entire Magazine was pathetic. I was freaking slack, I pushed back the dateline a million times and the reason why the second publication every year is not in August by January (yes 5 months back) is because of the delay of the one issue I edited. So yea, when everyone was working hard and pushing themselves to their limits I went just a teeny wee bit further and stopped there.
And then there was writing. I got selected for Commonwealth in 2007. Commonwealth! Victoria School! Oh my freaking shit. Well. It wasn't that good anyway. I made it through school selections but didn't even get Commendation through the brits. The story was cliche and boring and stale. Yet I thought I was a good writer. Ha. Ha. Ha. I told myself I'd write something better in 2008 and look where I am now? If I ever get A1 for English I'd think Cambridge was slipping because the composition I wrote for English was crap. C. R. A. P. I copied Jhumpa Lahiri's Pulitzer and it wasn't even a thousandth as good. I betrayed by own voice. On the day of freaking O Levels. Which was the only thing that made my writing any good.
And then there was running. And then there was guitar. And then there was swimming. And then there was blading. AND THEN THERE WAS O LEVELS. Who knows what else? Jack of all trades doesn't even begin to symbolize who I am because Jack
's pretty powerful in the game of cards.
There's nothing much hindering me from being a photographer again. I have a DSLR sitting beside me right now. I take too many things for granted. The opportunities I've been blessed with in this life have been wasted. On me. The creative influences that have surrounded me have been nothing less than professional and expert. Yet the honing and helping haven't amounted to much. Someone else would have been far more successful in my position.
There was photography. Which I started with in Sec 1. I grabbed a camera on the night of Evening of Music and Drama and sat of the steps of Victoria School Auditorium. I took photo after photo, shot after shot. I changed CF card twice. Mr Ong was appalled. None of the shots were good, obviously. But I worked harder. Practiced like shit. I thought I was going to do photography for O Levels. I really thought. Turns out not. Like everything I slacked and soon everyone was ahead of me.
There was graphic design. Which started when I was Sec 1. I sat through and watched the seniors work their magic on Photoshop. Afternoon after afternoon during the holidays I would take the train all the way from Woodlands to Bedok so I could work on The Victorian. It was three hours on the train everyday during the December Holidays and I worked like hell. I got better and soon I did bigger stuff and learnt more in the VIctorian 2006. Art Direction, graphic direction, whatever they called it. I gave ideas and did the shit. I got better.
But like everything else I slacked and soon others did better than me. I lost my grasp with Illustrator and Photoshop. I stopped wanting to learn. I lost focus.
And then there was editorship. When Muyao left there was only me and Lizhi. So naturally for all the work and shit I put in I was given the role of editor in 2007. I still think the outcome was fantastic, I still think Victoriana 2007.2 was one of the best issues I've worked on (given that I've worked on pretty many Victorianas since I entered publications in Sec 1), But the process of the entire Magazine was pathetic. I was freaking slack, I pushed back the dateline a million times and the reason why the second publication every year is not in August by January (yes 5 months back) is because of the delay of the one issue I edited. So yea, when everyone was working hard and pushing themselves to their limits I went just a teeny wee bit further and stopped there.
And then there was writing. I got selected for Commonwealth in 2007. Commonwealth! Victoria School! Oh my freaking shit. Well. It wasn't that good anyway. I made it through school selections but didn't even get Commendation through the brits. The story was cliche and boring and stale. Yet I thought I was a good writer. Ha. Ha. Ha. I told myself I'd write something better in 2008 and look where I am now? If I ever get A1 for English I'd think Cambridge was slipping because the composition I wrote for English was crap. C. R. A. P. I copied Jhumpa Lahiri's Pulitzer and it wasn't even a thousandth as good. I betrayed by own voice. On the day of freaking O Levels. Which was the only thing that made my writing any good.
And then there was running. And then there was guitar. And then there was swimming. And then there was blading. AND THEN THERE WAS O LEVELS. Who knows what else? Jack of all trades doesn't even begin to symbolize who I am because Jack
's pretty powerful in the game of cards.
Opinari
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Culture de sac has degenerated into a symbol of my declining brain activity. Today I write incoherent, childish things that have little to do with my life or the life around me. I do, however, have sparks of inspiration now and then, which usually end up as standpointless (that's not a real word, by the way) GP essays with horrible grammar, punctuation, and most importantly a bywk perspective. Enjoy.
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