I just finished watching Paradise Now for the second time. This time was with my Dad, who described it as "a good film" after the credits starting rolling. It's classified M18 under the Singapore Board of Censors because of the sensitive theme it holds in our society.

Basically, the film illustrates the last 48 hours of two Palestinian men who live in the West Bank. They have chose to end their lives as suicide bombers in Tel Aviv, Israel. 

Many times in society we are prompted to deem these people as cold, unfeeling, inhuman individuals who don't actually have hearts, and are just tools of destruction. Politicians look at things in black and white. They see that everyone is phased under two umbrellas- "right" and "wrong". There is no in-between. Many times, we see it that way too.

But what is black and white anyway? Black is but a mixture of every other color there is. And white is the absence of color.

Nobody is white. Nobody is perfect. But nobody is black either. The truth is, everybody is in-between. There are so many colors, how can everybody only be two? A week after the terrorist attacks against London, Madrid etc. comes cover stories on these people. We look at them and dismiss them: they are not worth the attention. But does anybody consider the fact that NOBODY makes a decision to kill a bunch of strangers in just a snap? There is always a road.

Why did these two young man choose to give up their whole lives for a mere operation? You'd be shallow to just brush it off; think they're naive. How on earth will you expect people to react when you torment, tyrannize, intimidate them? They are human too, and vengeance breeds in the flesh of every human.

After watched the film for the first time, I remember thinking. This is odd, Said was the one who backed out first. Khaled was the adamant one. But in the end, it was Said who detonated the bomb. The second time, I probed myself with that question. Then I realized: religion, philosophy are but the kerosene to start the flame. The match still comes from themselves.

Some of us have inner demons, and maybe because there was this avenue Said took the plunge.

"The politicians want to see it as black and white, good and evil, and art wants to see it as a human thing.

-Hany Abu-Assad
Director Paradise Now.

Staying in the hostel brings a deficiency of contact with the outside world, while the working-class suburbs just draws you closer to a bigger reality. It is only when you're in contact, face-to-face with the bourgeois, will you really come to know the problems that our people are facing. Looking back now, traveling on the MRT at 7pm rush hour was really very surreal. The faces of our Singaporeans just say so much about how much they're working for to keep breathing.

Victoria Hall has brought me a lot more convenience. I take 30s to reach "home". I can rush back after P.E. to take a bath. I can get my tie if I forget it. It's just a myriad of possibilities. There are, though, sacrifices to every good decision made. This has been some sort of self-jailed prison, a wire that restricts me to watch the lives of everyday Singaporeans whiz past.

There are snaps however- trips to Parkway and back. I enjoy them quite a bit. I guess 3 years of commuting Singapore end-to-end has left me some sort of urban nomad.

But I guess to every land there is its own story. And after 11 years of being a Northerner, it's time to take a break.

Culture de sac has degenerated into a symbol of my declining brain activity. Today I write incoherent, childish things that have little to do with my life or the life around me. I do, however, have sparks of inspiration now and then, which usually end up as standpointless (that's not a real word, by the way) GP essays with horrible grammar, punctuation, and most importantly a bywk perspective. Enjoy.

written on the middle of 2009, 30th June.

Culture de sac is a portmanteau of the words culture and cul de sac. I'm not anti-establishment, my facebook political views says "Moderate". But certainly aspects of our practices will hit a dead end.

These writing exist to (hopefully) engage more individuals in current issues and affairs that actually affect them- directly or not. It is thinking space, for us to ponder about how society is changing our lives and how we can change society. I think what is important (and foundational) is that everyone today is informed, because only with an informed public can we have an informed government. And we all know where the lack of information throws us- to the backwardness of history.

So take a seat and look at things around you, this is a commentary. Telling, shouting, criticizing but not forcing (I hope at least!) views on you so you can have a look at various opinions. Take charge of what you want to know in life, be your influence.