I walk down the streamlined corridors of the building and think about funny things and happy things and stupid things. It's a ritual really, that I come to practice every morning and afternoon and night. This place is like a distinct home from home. It's like set apart as a safe spot, a bomb shelter, a nourishment zone. In this corridor there's this big armchair like those in cold European countries where people sit by the fireplace and drink hot cocoa and read a book and be happy. And now I get to sit on it, and think about funny things and happy things and stupid things.

I start to think if there's a person that's just like me somewhere else in the world. Maybe in Communist North Korea, or standing on a piece of undiscovered large floating ice in the middle of the Arctic. We look the same, talk the same voice and say the same things. Just that we speak different languages and experience different challenges everyday. Me One has too deal with food shortages and stupid dictators and pseudo Communist lifestyles and whatever and gross. Me Two has to feed his pet polar bear and build igloos and light fires to keep warm. Me has to deal with school and media influence and friend influence and school.

The corridor grows a fireplace, just like how trees grow fruits. It's a welcome addition to my home away from home, just that home is Singapore hence home away from home is too Singapore and Singapore is hot thus does not need fireplaces. I keep sitting on my armchair wondering why the corridor didn't grow an air-conditioning machine instead. I start to sweat and little beads of very diluted urea appear on my forehead and on my chest and everywhere. The diluted urea (aka sweat) starts seeping into the back of the armchair and this makes a stain. I start to worry, I'm soiling the prized European chair! But my anxiety evaporates instantly when I realize this is my home away from home so this chair must be mine too! I get to do anything I want with my chair.

Some thousands of kilometers away in Communist North Korea Me One manages to escape to the 38th Parallel. I have never been to North Korea and Pyongyang and the DMZ so I haven't really experienced the place whatever so this is really PSEUDO Communist DPRK and not the real thing like you'll find in some thriller or mystery novel down at Borders. Welcome welcome to pseudo writing where experience does not play a part in the process of this story.

So Me One manages to escape the clutches of all the petty corrupt Communist officials from his home in, erm, Pyongyang (that's the only North Korean city I know) and starts an espionage all the way down to the 38th Parallel. Except this time he isn't a spy for America or Russia or Kazakhstan. He is a spy for himself, his future, his life. He is higher than the propaganda-ed, brainwashed citizenry of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. He is a born intellectual and can envision the larger world than the Communist dictatorship he lives in. Due to sheer luck and intelligence he hitchhikes to the DMZ- where the Korean War ended some decades ago. He doesn't know the truth of the place, his history has been whitewashed by the proletariat government who liberated him.

Which is why he is a spy. He is the spy for truth, for freedom. For whom nobody stands for. Because countries cover their tracks and erase the bad parts. They replace talented sopranos with girls who lip sync because the lip syncing girl is cuter. They ban the sale of controversial material and books so you have to cross the border to get them. They bring people halfway across the world to someone else's country and torture them because their own country is a lighthouse for human rights and doing that on their own soil would be contravening their own policy. They recognize the sovereignty of a country which so clearly doesn't deserve it because of their own vested interests. This is the world. This is the sphere we are living on. And Me One is a spy for everyone out there who deserves to know better. To understand better.

Some even thousands of miles further away where Me Two lives is a land of desolate icy coldness. Although it is is desolate there's some form of beauty in it. Like the Ice Queen who rules Narnia with an iron grip. But who reads Narnia anyway? We are hip sixteen year olds and can't read this sort of books. They are blasphemy to everything cool and in. They are the Anti-Hip. Walk down the school canteen and wherever you are with young people and they start to set you apart. You are different. We don't like you. You don't dress like us. You don't talk like us. You don't listen to our music. Go away. We don't like you.

But Hip and Cool isn't really one big group like outsiders and naysayers think it is. We are homosapien, capable of intellect, personal choice and freedom. Hence everyone really is unique and has their own personality. No two person dresses exactly the same way (unless one of them are copycats). No two person talks the same way (unless one of them are copycats). No two person listens to exactly the same music (unless one of them are copycats). So everyone is cool and hip and whatever in their own unique sort of way. But because we are also homosapien and feel the need to bond, we get closer to people who we think are a bit like us and form a clique. Then we have clique wars. Haha.

But Me Two doesn't care about hip and cool does he? He is actually living on a piece of ice with his father and mother and brother and sister and grandmothers and grandfathers. He has never seen another human being apart from them. His best friend is his polar bear who swam to him one day because it was dying. Apparently it had escaped from someplace called a "zoo" where the temperatures were so hot algae was growing on his fur. So Me Two is basically cut away from Civilization. But he doesn't know that does he. He thinks grandmas and grandpas and mommy and daddy and his brother and sister IS Civilization. And so do the rest of them.

Actually they are.

In the morning he goes out with his father in the boat to catch seals for lunch. They sail out hundreds of meters to the seal spot. On the way out, he senses something different. The water was a bit dirtier, and very black! What exactly was happening? Had they made the Gods angry? Had she/he come now to take away their most precious resource? Where the only way they obtained it was through the four taps? This was catastrophic! This was Armageddon! Me two and his father rushed back to the block of ice he called home, anxious to spread the news to every homosapien on the world.

When they reached home, they started detailing the quality of the water, the blackness of it, how nightmarish it was. Grandpa A said it was nothing! He had seen this happen when he was the first human in the world! When he hadn't found Grandma A yet he had been living on another block of ice and had seen the dark liquid. Grandpa B was fuming now. HE was the first human in the world. How dare Grandpa B blaspheme his Adamity. He shouted back at Grandpa A and they got into a fight. They started boxing one another and soon blood dripped down both of their faces. Me two's pet polar bear smelt the blood and got into a frenzy, joining in the fight and tearing them to bits. Soon they were nothing but a pile of fresh blood, bones and flesh.

Grandma A and B were now terrified! Their husbands were gone! They breathed no more. The world had just seen its first two deaths. Grandma A said they they had to eat the Grandpas in order for them to stay with humanity forever. Grandma B cheered in unison. They rallied the family, finding the first diluted practice of cannibalism. Me Two cried out loud, together with his sister and brother. They had lost their grandfathers! They did not want to eat them.

Just as Grandma A started to take out her chopsticks, Mother saw a bright yellow lifeboat in the distance. She was shocked, her faced turned pale. In the boat were the 10th and 11th humans in the world! Me Two was very scared, and ran away, hiding in the boat he and his father made.


THIS IS STILL WORK IN PROGRESS! FEEL FREE TO INPUT AHUH AHUH.