Chinese New Year has been a time of thought provocation, except most of the time I'm too tired to think anymore. Sometimes I get worried my intellect would just run away from me; my creativity would take flight and go bless someone else. Sometimes I get scared, because who I am isn't really who I am but what I have. Minus your talents, your looks and who you are, there isn't really anybody out there sticking out for you.

My life has been consumed with keeping a low profile these days; maybe its just an environmental influence. Sometimes I wonder if it would affect my performance, credibility when I get out into the workforce. After all, a diplomat is supposed to be one of those networky; know everybody everywhere kind of person isn't it? But then when I draw back into reality I realize it's the people who don't tell people who they are that have the most substance. It's the people who don't sell themselves that really have something to sell.

But sometimes I question myself again; after all selling yourself is an important skill. Though the most important thing in everything is being yourself; letting people see the real you. And I wonder if I'm the kind that does or doesn't self sell. The kind that networks or keeps it low. Because I realize I can do it if I want to. But recently I haven't been doing that; preferring to keep it low. Cross referencing this to my Lower Secondary days its been a whirlwind of change! So what am I?

What am I. I am me and yet I don't know what I am. Weird.